It has taken me years to find what makes me – me! Life is an adventure and if we stop striving for a deeper richer sense of self – does that mean we are content? Does that mean we have given up? Does that mean we are counting the days til our demise?
I have always been connect to my creative side though, I never believed in it. I pushed it away and tried be in the main stream of life. And everytime my true sense of being crepted in and screamed, hey look at me I said – NO that’s not you. It’s not bad, I just chose not to listen. For years, I was the 9-5 person behind the desk doing what people do. Frustrated, disconnected to my true self. Fighting what really makes me come alive. I have chosen a different route. I have found those things that really make me fell alive. This pup, Maggie, my partner in crime, my hiking buddy, my cuddle.monster (her instagram site) to ignite my heart and supported me on a journey.
For years, I danced and got lost in the music and for some reason, it didn’t seem to fit into the norms of society. I once had a counselor tell me that you cannot make it in that world and definitely are not built for it, so over time I walked away. I can remember the artists easel that I got decades christmas’s ago. I can still remember the red trays that held the paints and the clips supporting the paper. It stood beside the big window where the sun shined through, that too seemed to disappear when other things in life took priority. It is apart of me and my being and have found that I can get lost in this world of music and art.
Comformity is what society breeds. So off I went college, marriage, children – its what people do and I would not have done anything different – I love the journey I have been on and those that have been apart of it. However, there were parts of me that were perpectually missing. As far back as I can remember a camera has been in my hand – capturing images of travels, children and their activities. And putting the camera in hand, grabbing the dog and off to hike makes me come alive every opportunity I get. The miles on my feet, the unique images that I have captured tell me that I have more to see and do.
I have grown and learned alot about myself. Professionally I consider myself a body mechanic – a personal trainer and a wellness coach. But actually I am so much more. I no longer fit into the box that my high school guidance counselor once said – “honey, you don’t need to go on to college, you will just get married, have babies and be a home wife.” Wow, I remember those words as if they were spoken yesterday. I guess I used them to fuel me, always striving for more. Always busy with life, exploring what’s next.
The past year made me go inward and do alot more self work, exploration and defining my boundaries of what I want, what will I accept and what is non-negotiable in my world. I looked back at the photos of my evolution. It’s amazing the changes I see and the baggage I have left behind. I am excited for what is ahead – its about stepping into your power. No one gets to define you!